The IPL, an acronym for Indian Premier League,the brainchild of BCCI, is an outstanding addition to the Indian crown of glory(which, by the way, is up for auction). There was this small-scale economist with intelligence and shrewdness par excellence. His name was Lalit Modi. He, as of now, is competing with one Mr.M.K.Gandhi( the guy on the currency), for the title of "The Father Of The Nation". WHY, you may ask. Well, the reason is palpably lucid. Mr. Lalit Modi has succeeded in bringing together the various facets of the illustrious Indian culture under one big, huge roof viz. The IPL. It boasts of Bollywood, Masala, Corruption, Money with different hues, skimpily dressed ladies(wolf-whistle) and a bit of Cricket.
The BCCI, Mr.Modi's caretaker, has enough funds to buy USA's rights "to attack other countries when you are bored". What do you do with all this money? Simple. You pay cricketers from all around the world to come to India, play cricket and go back. You might need a strategic time-out here to read between the lines here. Anyway, so the IPL is now a phenomenon. Its everywhere, raking moolah. You create 10 teams and hold them up for auction. People with money in their pocket and brains in their butt(no offense SRK) buy these and the players and VOILA!!! IPL is born. And then you name the teams, which makes perfect sense by the way, the names. For instance there's Kolkata knightriders(unlike what tradition suggests,these guys ride knights). The other teams, unfortunately, ride on them. Another fact that makes it even more Indian is that IPL is racially discriminative. They dont let Pakistan in. So what if they bombed our cultural capital, killed several, captured our territories up north, ensued communal violence across the country, took beloved sania mirza away and the likes. Let bygones be bygones. The IPL committee should let the terrorists play. After all, its the last wish of ajmal kasab, the one who helped refashion the lesser known TAJ.
Now, we see Mr.Modi is plotting in some underground bunker, because he is a wanted criminal in the country now. More notorious than Rakhi Sawant. In India that's what you get for bringing in a change. Look what Rajiv Gandhi got(in case you are wondering,he got his ass blown off. Literally. Funny how everything with a Gandhi name attached to it tends to get mutilated in the country.) Coming back to the discussion, all Modi did was devise a platform for corruption-free corruption. In our country, the situation is so bad that we need to bribe people to accept bribes. But instead of seeing the 2mm thick silver lining all these so-called citizens and law-makers saw was the big, huge gray cloud of corruption that will ruin the country's future. who gives a shit about the country anyway. They say that IPL also gives the indigenous players an opportunity to learn tips and tricks of the trade. Who are you trying to fool. The damn country just won the goddamn world cup. you think we need more?
Well, we do need more. There are certain sports that require kicking a bigger ball that has hexagons and pentagons and as of lately other abstract art on it. Oh, its popularly called soccer(pronounced sock-er). The country has also marveled at its glory and has contributed by providing some legends like.. uh.. well.. ahem. For obvious reasons, I think we should stick to cricket. Cricket has gained so much popularity in the country that its treated almost as a religion called sachinism which is further divided into various castes on the basis of the traditional system of occupation. The IPL is to sachinism what onam is to south western nagaland. So, rounding up, we can say that IPL is a festival celebrating the true nature of the country imbibing all of its essence in its most horribly grotesque manner.
Like a true Indian, I will support IPL because it helps to gnaw into the country's innards carving out more space for the brimming population. Another reason to support IPL is that we know that we dont need it. We love getting things that we dont need, just for the satisfaction it gives us to know that someone who needs it wont have it. So, join in the movement to make the IPL grow. No matter what happens around us, we should support IPL, and not some old ex-army men dieting their way to death.
PS- Mr.Modi, ever heard of hockey?
The BCCI, Mr.Modi's caretaker, has enough funds to buy USA's rights "to attack other countries when you are bored". What do you do with all this money? Simple. You pay cricketers from all around the world to come to India, play cricket and go back. You might need a strategic time-out here to read between the lines here. Anyway, so the IPL is now a phenomenon. Its everywhere, raking moolah. You create 10 teams and hold them up for auction. People with money in their pocket and brains in their butt(no offense SRK) buy these and the players and VOILA!!! IPL is born. And then you name the teams, which makes perfect sense by the way, the names. For instance there's Kolkata knightriders(unlike what tradition suggests,these guys ride knights). The other teams, unfortunately, ride on them. Another fact that makes it even more Indian is that IPL is racially discriminative. They dont let Pakistan in. So what if they bombed our cultural capital, killed several, captured our territories up north, ensued communal violence across the country, took beloved sania mirza away and the likes. Let bygones be bygones. The IPL committee should let the terrorists play. After all, its the last wish of ajmal kasab, the one who helped refashion the lesser known TAJ.
Now, we see Mr.Modi is plotting in some underground bunker, because he is a wanted criminal in the country now. More notorious than Rakhi Sawant. In India that's what you get for bringing in a change. Look what Rajiv Gandhi got(in case you are wondering,he got his ass blown off. Literally. Funny how everything with a Gandhi name attached to it tends to get mutilated in the country.) Coming back to the discussion, all Modi did was devise a platform for corruption-free corruption. In our country, the situation is so bad that we need to bribe people to accept bribes. But instead of seeing the 2mm thick silver lining all these so-called citizens and law-makers saw was the big, huge gray cloud of corruption that will ruin the country's future. who gives a shit about the country anyway. They say that IPL also gives the indigenous players an opportunity to learn tips and tricks of the trade. Who are you trying to fool. The damn country just won the goddamn world cup. you think we need more?
Well, we do need more. There are certain sports that require kicking a bigger ball that has hexagons and pentagons and as of lately other abstract art on it. Oh, its popularly called soccer(pronounced sock-er). The country has also marveled at its glory and has contributed by providing some legends like.. uh.. well.. ahem. For obvious reasons, I think we should stick to cricket. Cricket has gained so much popularity in the country that its treated almost as a religion called sachinism which is further divided into various castes on the basis of the traditional system of occupation. The IPL is to sachinism what onam is to south western nagaland. So, rounding up, we can say that IPL is a festival celebrating the true nature of the country imbibing all of its essence in its most horribly grotesque manner.
Like a true Indian, I will support IPL because it helps to gnaw into the country's innards carving out more space for the brimming population. Another reason to support IPL is that we know that we dont need it. We love getting things that we dont need, just for the satisfaction it gives us to know that someone who needs it wont have it. So, join in the movement to make the IPL grow. No matter what happens around us, we should support IPL, and not some old ex-army men dieting their way to death.
PS- Mr.Modi, ever heard of hockey?
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